


hotpot

by lanxian



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crack Fic, EVERYONE LOVES EACH OTHER, Eventual Relationships, Everyone is soft for jeongin, Explicit Language, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Memes, Multi, Not Beta Read, OT9 - Freeform, Polyamory, Seo Changbin is Whipped, Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Texting, Undecided Relationship(s), and tbh this is self indulgent, because he's sunshine, but jisung says otherwise, but there are specific relationships, can you feel my felix biased self, chat fic, eventually, everyone loves felix, felix joins later, honestly they're all just crackheads, hyunjin is our almighty prince, i just really love ot9, implied ot9, jeongin is lowkey a snake but cute, kinda slow burn, minho is the rudest mean girl around town, seungmin is certified angel demon, woojin is man mom and ready to fight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-10-23 04:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17676263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanxian/pseuds/lanxian
Summary: crackhead nut:iM not a crACKHEAD THAT'S CHANGBINchad dylan cooper:your behavior says otherwise jisungchad dylan cooper:you literally put yourself in the washing machine the other day and asked me to turn it onchad dylan cooper:and when i didn't you decided to eat a tide podchad dylan cooper:i had to bring you to the hospital, a whole day wastedcrackhead nut: iT WAS IN MY FEED I SAW OTHERS DO IT and i was genuinely curiouscrackhead nut:have u never stared at a tide pod in wondercrackhead nut:lookin at them glorious orange and blue,,and that glossy sheencrackhead nut:and want to take a lickphineas:you’re not a white 16 yr old fuckboi from america stfu jisung





	1. hI HeLLo

**Author's Note:**

> just a lil guide:
> 
> chad dylan cooper: chan  
> crackhead nut: jisung  
> phineas: changbin  
> meanheaux: minho  
> prince: hyunjin  
> babybabybaby: jeongin  
> mom: woojin  
> angel: seungmin

**7:41 P.M.**

 

_**Bang Chan** has added **Changbin** , **JISUNG** , **I.N** and four others_

 

_**Bang Chan** has renamed **Changbin** to **phineas**_

 

_**Bang Chan** has renamed **JISUNG** to **crackhead nut**_

 

_**Bang Chan** has renamed **I.N** to **babybabybaby**_

 

_**Bang Chan** has renamed **Woojin** to **mom**_

 

_**Bang Chan** has renamed **Seungmin** to **angel**_

 

_**Bang Chan** has renamed **Minho** to **meanheaux**_

 

_**Bang Chan** has renamed **Hyunjin** to **prince**_

 

_**Bang Chan** has renamed **Bang Chan** to **chad dylan cooper**_

 

_**chad dylan cooper** has renamed the chat to **friENdsHiP iS MaGIc**_

 

**chad dylan cooper:** now all my children are organized

 

**phineas:** chan wtf is my fucking name,,,and i'm not your fucking child

**phineas:** for the last fucking time

 

**crackhead nut:** damn not even a second into the gc and he already cursing

**crackhead nut:** wait

**crackhead nut:** iM not a crACKHEAD THAT'S CHANGBIN

 

**chad dylan cooper:** your behavior says otherwise jisung

**chad dylan cooper:** you literally put yourself in the washing machine the other day and asked me to turn it on

**chad dylan cooper:** and when i didn't you decided to eat a tide pod

**chad dylan cooper:** i had to bring you to the hospital, a whole day wasted

 

**phineas:** what do you expect

**phineas:** its jisung

 

**crackhead nut** : iT WAS IN MY FEED I SAW OTHERS DO IT and i was genuinely curious

**crackhead nut:** have u never stared at a tide pod in wonder

**crackhead nut:** lookin at them glorious orange and blue,,and that glossy sheen

**crackhead nut:** and want to take a lick

 

**phineas:** you’re not a white 16 yr old fuckboi from america stfu jisung

 

**chad dylan cooper:** i have common sense so no

 

**crackhead nut:** the DISGRACE

**crackhead nut:** also tf is with ur name chan hyung??

 

**chad dylan cooper:** do you mean to tell me

**chad dylan cooper:** that you don’t recognize the man behind this name

**chad dylan cooper:** jisung i am offended

**chad dylan cooper:** you didn’t have a childhood 

**chad dylan cooper:** if you didn’t watch disney channel shows

**chad dylan cooper:** how can you not know sonny with a chance smh

 

**crackhead nut:** i just asked one question-

**crackhead nut:** udon’t gotta attack me

 

**meanheaux:** these are some very q u e s t i o n a b l e friends chan

 

**prince:** pls minho you’re just as bad

**prince:** you a pretty face but the rudest ik

 

**meanheaux:** have you seen urself?

 

**mom:** HI HELLO :)

**mom:** at least he's not dumb like jisung

 

**crackhead nut:** i'm?? literally?? right?? here?? n e way who r u bois

**crackhead nut:** i only recognize woojin, chan, and changbin hyung

 

**chad dylan cooper:** all of my children, except for woojin cuz hes ur mom

 

**mom:** chan i am a man

 

**phineas:** no you’re his wife therefore the mom

**phineas:** just not my mom

 

**babybabybaby:** hiiii woojin hyung! (✿◠‿◠)

 

**mom:** !!

**mom:** jeongin!! how are you baby? did you like the food i gave you??

 

**prince:** 0 to 100 real quick hyung

 

**mom:** shush hyunjin

 

**babybabybaby:** it was rlly good hyung, tysm ily :3

**babybabybaby:** but u rlly didn't have to give me food!! i still feel bad :((

 

**crackhead nut:** wow im so soft chan who is this cute baby

 

**babybabybaby:** im jeongin but call me I.N (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

**babybabybaby:** im a freshman!!

 

**prince:** u-uwu?

 

**crackhead nut:** bUSTED MY BIGGEST UWU

**crackhead nut:** AND ARE THOSE BRACES

 

**phineas:** ur cute kid

 

**mom:** ♡

 

**phineas:** and jisung what else could they be you dumb shit

 

**crackhead nut:** y do u hate me sm

 

**phineas:** i mean ur jisung

**phineas:** that's enough of a reason

 

**crackhead nut:** wha-

**crackhead nut:** jisung.exe has stopped working

 

**phineas:** guess it’s finally time to throw him out huh chan

 

**crackhead nut:** CHAN R U READING THIS HELP ME HYUNG

 

**chad dylan cooper:** jeongin's also the youngest so istg if any of you taint him

**chad dylan cooper** : i’ll dropkick you off to my house in australia

 

**phineas:** you can’t even remember your own name chan, so how you gon hurt us huh

**phineas:** you’re gonna pussy out at the last minute

 

**mom:** we!! have!! a!! child!! in!! this!! chat!!

**mom:** .ʕʘ‿ʘʔ. take back your words, and don't be rude to your hyung

 

**prince:** get u a man like woojin hyung

 

**crackhead nut:** ... i've been ignored

 

**prince:** n e ways

**prince:** i’m hyunjin a whole visual

**prince:** but also the best dancer you'll ever witness

 

**crackhead nut:** a whole confident gay i cOuld never

**crackhead nut:** but damn agghhkhafkk

 

**prince:** see smth u like ;)

 

**babybabybaby:** wow hyunjin hyung you're so handsome! i'm so jealous!!

 

**phineas:** damn those lips

 

**meanheaux:** hyunjin stop hoeing around

**meanheaux:** i’m minho a junior

**meanheaux:** i dance and model part time

 

**prince:** o k i admit ur pretty

 

**crackhead nut:** im gay mom

**crackhead nut:** how can u be so hot

 

**meanheaux:** thank you jisung ;)

 

**crackhead nut:** SCREECH

 

**phineas:** jisung stfu i can hear you from across the room

 

**crackhead nut:** BUT IVE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE SO BEAUTIFUL

**crackhead nut:** YO MY NAMES JISUNG

**crackhead nut:** hMU MINHO

 

**phineas:** doubt he'd wanna hit up a rabid squirrel

 

**prince:** can we be best friends phineas??

 

**phineas:** u called me phineas so fuck no asian fuckboi

 

**prince:** wow- okay

 

**meanheaux:** damn he rlly out here attackin people left and right

**meanheaux:** but if that ain’t relatable-

 

**chad dylan cooper:** jisung, changbin, s t o p

**chad dylan cooper:** jisung why are you such a desperate gay

**chad dylan cooper:** and changbin

**chad dylan cooper:** today a bad day?

 

**crackhead nut:** y wouldn't i be

**crackhead nut:** he's so beautiful

 

**meanheaux:** now the praise is starting to get uncomfortable get away

 

**crackhead nut:** and binnie r u extra salty because u didn't get enough sleep

**crackhead nut:** i told u to leave the studio at least at 2

**crackhead nut:** bad boi bad boi

**crackhead nut:** even i take care of myself better than u

 

**phineas:** .

 

**chad dylan cooper:** for once, he's got a legit point

 

**phineas:** stfu like ur one to talk chan

**phineas:** when was the last time you slept huh,,,three days ago

**phineas:** pls go sleep

 

**babybabybaby:** D: chan hyung? you haven't slept in three days?!

**babybabybaby:** please get some rest soon hyung, ilysm i don't want you to pass out :c

 

**mom:** chan! don't make jeongin feel bad!

**mom:** take care of yourself better,,,and you call yourself the dad

**mom:** smh im the one supporting this household

 

**chad dylan cooper:** ,,,

**chad dylan cooper:** should i feel happy or insulted,,i am co nflicted

 

**meanheaux:** damn chan, i know you a hard worker but you rlly gotta sleep

**meanheaux:** i was wondering why you've been so pale lately

**meanheaux:** have you also been eating regularly??

**meanheaux:** also your name is getting annoying to look at,,,way too long

**meanheaux:** change it

 

**prince:** would u feel better if i slept with u chan hyung ;3

**prince:** and why u gotta ruin it minho

 

**chad dylan cooper:** alright alright kids, i’ll take a break soon

**chad dylan cooper:** let’s just finish the introductions for now :)

_**chad dylan cooper** has renamed **chad dylan cooper** to **chris charming**_

 

**meanheaux:** ,,,

**meanheaux:** that’s even worse but aight

**meanheaux:** it be like that sometimes

 

**chris charming:** i’m just gonna pretend everything’s fine

 

**mom:** its not gonna be the kids that give me white hair it’s gonna be you chan sigh

**mom:** my name is woojin, a senior and also the oldest here probably

**mom:** chicken is the best food and i accept no other answers :)

 

**prince:** honestly woojin is such a terrifying b

**prince:** like he’s the softest bitch and the next moment he ready to chase u with a frying pan

 

**chris charming:** ,,,

 

**phineas:** oH what is this chan is speechless??

**phineas:** ur handsome tho woojin, nice job

 

**babybabybaby:** woojin hyung u look so good! ur smile is my favorite :)

 

**meanheaux:** nice job? df you mean phineas you dumb fuck

**meanheaux:** is your korean o k

**meanheaux:** woojin hyung you look,,,like you give the best hugs

**meanheaux:** like wtf a whole real teddy bear

 

**crackhead nut:** i had to reread that sentence cuz it didnt make sense

 

**meanheaux:** b do igaf if u can understand me or not,,no

 

**crackhead nut:** what happened to 'thank u jisung ;)'

**crackhead nut:** also woojin hyung

**crackhead nut:** ur rlly like a teddy bear can we hug the next time we see each other

 

**mom:** tysm children ♡

**mom:** but ok who's left

 

**prince:** wow impatient much

**prince:** but uhhh,,phineas and angel r the only ones i think

 

**chris charming:** umm,,,wb me hyunjon

 

_**prince** has renamed **prince** to **hyunjohn**_

 

**phineas:** hyunjon

 

**crackhead nut:** hyunjon

 

**meanheaux:** hyunjON

 

**babybabybaby:** hyung…

 

**hyunjohn:** wow hyung stop trying to make me australian

**hyunjohn:** we get it,,you want a mate furry ass

 

**chris charming:** JKHASJKFHJ leave me alone typos are a curse

**chris charming:** also whY’D YOU ADD THE JOHN I DIDN’T ADD THE H YOU DID

 

**hyunjohn:** sorry idk what you’re talking about

 

**mom:** chan we love you but you are literally friends with everyone in this whole chat

**mom:** you were literally the one who m a d e it

 

**phineas:** basically everyone knows you and you’re not that important

**phineas:** ok now that thats done,,,

**phineas:** @ **angel** who tf are you

 

**chris charming:** you know what i’ll just curl into a ball in the corner goodbye

 

**meanheaux:** k bye chan hf

 

**hyunjohn:** more importantly this angel person hasnt spoke at all in this chat

**hyunjohn:** @ **chris charming** come back we need u

**hyunjohn:** is this angel person ded

 

**chris charming:** i got so excited

**chris charming:** is this all you kids like me for?? intel??

 

**meanheaux:** funny u think i like u at all

 

**crackhead nut:** dw hyung we also like ur food

 

**chris charming:** i-

 

**babybabybaby:** hyung i like your hugs the best! :D

 

**angel:** i think chan hyung is one of the most hard working people i’ve ever met

**angel:** anyway what is this??

 

**chris charming:** JEONGIN!! SEUNGMIN! my only comrades

**chris charming:** and yay seungmin you’ve finally showed up

**chris charming:** why you so late

 

**angel:** i was taking a nap

**angel:** smth you should do yknow

 

**hyunjohn:** u tELL him angel

 

**crackhead nut:** wait seungmin??

**crackhead nut:** like the kim seungmin that's the sophmore congress president kim seungmin??

 

**angel:** is there a problem with that??

 

**crackhead nut:** nah just wondering how hyung knows you

 

**angel:** we’re both in congress,,,

 

**crackhead nut:** cHAN HYUNG SINCE WHEN WERE U IN CONGRESS THIS IS THE FIRST IVE HEARD OF IT

 

**chris charming:** jisung,,,ive literally been in Congress since freshman year

**chris charming:** i’ve had to cancel our plans in the past because of Congress,,,i eXPLICITLY ALWAYS SAY “sorry I have Congress work to do that day”

 

**hyunjohn:** damn you’re beyond saving at this point jisung

 

**angel:** it’s ok,,some ppl lose common sense sometimes

**angel:** well I’m Kim Seungmin, a sophomore, and I really like singing

 

**mom:** ahhhhh you’re so handsome!

 

**crackhead nut:** what woojin said

**crackhead nut:** us cute bois should hang out

 

**phineas:** ignore jisung, he isn’t cute at all

**phineas:** but he’s right abt you being handsome

 

**crackhead nut:** WHY DO YOU DISAPPEAR ONLY TO COME BACK TO INSULT ME

 

**hyunjohn:** you're cute babe

**hyunjohn:** not you jisung

 

**angel:** thanks guys c:

**angel:** wait wha babe-

 

**[Group Chat: these heaux + woojin] | 8:09 P.M.**

 

**big bick energy:** fUCK he’s cute coffee shop boi

 

**slut drop:** god this is turning into some ass trash fanfic

**slut drop:** the fuck boy barista meets his dream onahole in a group chat made by their pussy friend

**slut drop:** and then they fall in love and fuck

**slut drop:** wait no now it sounds like a yaoi dj

**slut drop:** that sounded better in my head stfu before i slit your throat

 

**big bick energy:** i,,,didn’t even say anything but aight

**big bick energy:** i don’t fall in love

**big bick energy:** remember two years ago,,

**big bick energy:** he just cute

**big bick energy:** like big ’my type’ cute

 

**slut drop:** sure jan

 

**softest bitch on the block:** get back in the gc kids! and minho you’re nasty

 

**slut drop:** thanks babe

 

**[Group Chat: CHOP CHOP im coOkING up mY hOt pOT] | 8:15 P.M.**

 

**crackhead nut:** so like interesting story bois

**crackhead nut:** i just walked into the bathroom at our library and i saw some hets fucking

**crackhead nut:** sOMEONE HAND ME A BIBLE

**crackhead nut:** i will wash the sins that my eyes have witnessed and bury them down into the ground by the grace of god’s good will amen

 

**chris charming:** thats heterophobia jisung

 

**crackhead nut:** LISTEN HERE MR. BABY GIRL

 

**chris charming:** I DIDN'T MAKE THIS GC TO BE SLANDERED,,,DON'T YOU GO BRINGING MY DARK PAST UP

 

**hyunjohn:** don't worry chan, we been knew you have a daddy kink

**hyunjohn:** also tf is this gc name when did it change 

 

**meanheaux:** we were gone for literally five minutes 

**meanheaux:** u all got problems

 

**crackhead nut:** it’s a secret but blame it on chan basically

 

**babybabybaby:** is chan going to make hot pot later? can we all have dinner together later then? (´｡• ω •｡`)

 

**crackhead nut:** you’re so precious can we keep him

**crackhead nut:** but no that’s not why

**crackhead nut:** sorry jeongin,,

 

**babybabybaby:** oh… (｡•́︿•̀｡)

 

**mom:** but we can all do that another time, right guys?

**mom:** :)

 

**phineas:** i’d be down hyung

 

**crackhead nut:** anything for jeongin

 

**hyunjohn:** if it’s for the baby, sure

 

**meanheaux:** stranger danger

**meanheaux:** but fine

 

**hyunjohn:** stfu minho you literally don’t know only, like,,,4 or smth ppl in this gc

 

**chris charming:** same

**chris charming:** and jeongin we can get dinner together later!

 

**babybabybaby:** i’d like that hyung!

 

**hyunjohn:** ok but

**hyunjohn:** are we done with introductions or can we,,

**hyunjohn:** let loose

 

**chris charming:** !! changbin dont think you’re getting out of this

**chris charming:** phineas is changbin but feel free to call him binnie :)

 

**phineas:** chan istg i’ll come at you with a bat

 

**chris charming:** he's a junior like you minho

 

**crackhead nut:** no chan this is a better pic

**crackhead nut:** he's actually a big softie

 

**babybabybaby:** binnie hyung you’re adorable!!

 

**hyunjohn:** i’d cuddle you

 

**mom:** ahhh changbin is really just a soft boi 

 

**meanheaux:** damn ur seo changbin? u hella cute wyd bein all "i love dark" in music prod. class

**meanheaux:** fake fake fake

 

**phineas:** chan

**phineas:** jisung

**phineas:** Say your goodbyes.

 

**meanheaux:** ooh he used a period y’all

**meanheaux:** that means business


	2. this is an emergency

**[Group Chat: CHOP CHOP im coOkING up mY hOt pOT] | 8:34 P.M.**

 

**meanheaux:** so now that jisung and chan are dead 

******meanheaux:** i call chan’s studio equipment

**meanheaux:** and if jisung got some fine ass belts i’ll be claiming that shit too

 

**hyunjohn:** i call chan’s canvas belts

**hyunjohn:** don’t u dare take the yellow one,,,like sure i like them all but that one is mine

**hyunjohn:** i’ve been planning to steal it for TWO years and this is the perfect opportunity

**hyunjohn:** don’t u dare be ur bitch ass petty self and go against the bro hoe conduct

 

**phineas:** you’re welcome for doing such a good deed

**phineas:** where is my ‘thank you’ ungrateful fucks

 

**babybabybaby:** hyungs! 

**babybabybaby:** don’t be so mean to chan and jisung hyung 

**babybabybaby:** they just wanted you to be included :(

**babybabybaby:** but hyunjin hyung save me chan hyung’s checkered belt (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

 

**phineas:** kid do u think i really care,,,i didn’t ask for this shit

 

**babybabybaby:** oh

 

**phineas:** want me to treat u out later now that chan is 

**phineas:** b u s y

 

**babybabybaby:** ooh! thanks changbin hyung!

**babybabybaby:** i’ll get ready (*°▽°*)

 

**hyunjohn:** dw i’ll get a lot of chan’s belts for you jeongin <3

 

**meanheaux:** hmm

**meanheaux:** hMMM

**meanheaux:** hmMMMm

**meanheaux:** it seems i have competition

 

**hyunjohn:** tf

 

**mom:** you kids are vile

**mom:** chan

**mom:** jisung

**mom:** i’ll be taking your wallets gratefully

**mom:** especially you jisung

**mom:** idrc if you don’t respond tbh,,,i’ll finally get the money you owe me back

 

**meanheaux:** a true snake

**meanheaux:** you’ve learned so much from me

**meanheaux:** /wipes tear

 

**chris charming:** ,,,

**chris charming:** is this really all i mean to you guys-

**chris charming:** @god are these people legitimately my friends,,,how

**chris charming:** when will i be appreciated

**chris charming:** when will changbin stop being so triggered and emo 25/8

**chris charming:** i should’ve just left him at claire’s instead of hot topic that one time

**chris charming:** maybe he’d be nicer now

 

**crackhead nut:** BINNIE IMSISTER SORRY-

**crackhead nut:** but cmon we didn’t even send anything bad

**crackhead nut:** u didn’t look like a dumb ass crackhead in eITHER

 

**phineas:** sorry jisung but ur sister scrapped

**phineas:** and chan

**phineas:** i wish u gave me goku head ass training

**phineas:** but all you’ve given me so far is disappointment

 

**chris charming:** what does that even MEAN

 

**phineas:** see

**phineas:** such a disappointment

 

**meanheaux:** as much fun as these 5 yr old fights are

**meanheaux:** i need chan to be alive real quick

**meanheaux:** tf is ur studio passcode again

 

**chris charming:** YOU -300 IQ MF MINHO ARE YOU ACTUALLY AT MY STUDIO

**chris charming:** DONT U DARE TRY TO BREAK IN I SWEAR

 

**meanheaux:** excuse ur flat ass,,,i am a fucking k i n g

**meanheaux:** i ain’t followin no orders from some no name commoner

**meanheaux:** i will do as i please if u don’t tell me chan

 

**hyunjohn:** uhhh

**hyunjohn:** chan hyung

**hyunjohn:** this b is being serious

**hyunjohn:** like,,,he brought his dad’s golf club

**hyunjohn:** and bags and shit to stash ur equipment in,,,

**hyunjohn:** want me to call 911

**hyunjohn:** i’ve never been more ready

 

**meanheaux:** fuck can’t y’all take a joke,,,

**meanheaux:** obv i ain’t gonna go through all that effort to steal chan’s shit

**meanheaux:** i just need to get in there real quick

**meanheaux:** will it convince you more if i said woojin hyung supports me

 

**chris charming:** god can i get some cool new friends pls and thank

 

**phineas:** no

 

**[Group Chat: CHOP CHOP im coOkING up mY hOt pOT] | 2:15 A.M.**

 

**angel:** what i’ve learned today: chan’s friends are toxic

 

**crackhead nut:** wow rude,,,and here i thought we were comrades

**crackhead nut:** we’re supposed to be cute boi allies

**crackhead nut:** what happened to us seungmin… 

 

**angel:** hello 911? I’ve got a stalker,,,

 

**crackhead nut:** mom why is making friends so hard

**crackhead nut:** wait why u up at this time my dear seungmin

 

**angel:** i’m gonna ignore that you called me that

**angel:** but i’m taking a break from my english essay

**angel:** andi decided to look at my phone for once and saw that i had a lot of unreads from you gremlins

**angel:** took me 10 min to read up till now

**angel:** so moral of the story if you forgot: y’all are a big fat headache

**angel:** no wonder chan is constantly stressed

**angel:** he’s like mark lee at this point

**angel:** and y’all are the underclassmen in that big ass friend group of his

 

**crackhead nut:** WE TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT

**crackhead nut:** we definitely aren’t like them yikes,,,they be babying and bullying mark every second every hour every day

**crackhead nut:** esp that kid chenle

**crackhead nut:** and at least we don’t do that first part

**crackhead nut:** but chan loves us all deep down uwu

**crackhead nut:** no matter how much we tease him

**crackhead nut:** he’s our daddy after all

 

**angel:** AJSDAKG

**angel:** my virgin eyes

**angel:** i never want to see those two words combined ever again

**angel:** especially after learning about his dark past… 

**angel:** anyways i’ll be working on my essay in a few min and idk what’s got you staying up late af too

**angel:** be it hw or smth else, get some rest soon

**angel:** it’s bad for your health to be staying up this late and i might sound like a hypocrite

**angel:** but i still don’t want you or anyone else to be following these habits

**angel:** if it’s hard for you to get sleep, try drinking some chamomile or jasmine tea and after that, search up the 4-7-8 breathing trick

**angel:** follow that and it might actually help a lot

**angel:** it’s helped me and my cousin :)

**angel:** sweet dreams jisung and the rest of you (y’all better be sleeping)

 

**crackhead nut:**.

**crackhead nut:** that was the sweetest shit i’ve ever read yOU cAN’T JUST LEAVE SO QUICKLY

**crackhead nut:** i see why chan named u angel

**crackhead nut:** ty seungmin,,,i’ll probably have the cutest dreams about u now uwu

 

**[Private Chat: Seungmin, JISUNG] | 2:23 A.M.**

 

**Seungmin:** wait jisung i know we just started talking

**Seungmin:** but can you do me a small favor?

 

**JISUNG:** as long as math ain’t involved 

**JISUNG:** i am a man of many talents

 

**Seungmin:** that’s so dumb ig i’ll take that as a yes

**Seungmin:** can you tour a transfer student around during the day tomorrow?

**Seungmin:** i was going to ask chan hyung initially because the transfer student is from australia

**Seungmin:** but i just asked him for a favor last week, and he’s been so tired lately

**Seungmin:** and the transfer’s in our year so

**Seungmin:** you just need to show him around his classes and the general areas/classes of the school

**Seungmin:** i’ll notify your teachers so they won’t mark you for being late to the classes you don’t share with him

 

**JISUNG:** aIIGHT TIME TO CUT CLASS WITH AN EXCUSE

**JISUNG:** finally,,,u don’t know how long i’ve been waiting for a moment like this

 

**Seungmin:** you do realize who you just typed that to right

 

**JISUNG:** fuck

**JISUNG:** i mean yay,,,time to meet a better australian than chan :)

 

**Seungmin:** mhm

**Seungmin:** but srsly

**Seungmin:** thanks jisung

**Seungmin:** out of chan’s friends in the gc, so far you’re the best

 

**JISUNG:** seungmin wHY ARE U LITERALLY THE SOFTEST BITCH

**JISUNG:** UR MAKING MY HEART GO BROKI BROKI FOR U

 

_**JISUNG** has renamed **Seungmin** to **broki broki <3**_

 

**broki broki <3: **regret

**broki broki <3: **and before i leave fr

**broki broki <3: **transfer student’s name is lee felix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu my boi felix be coming in the next chapter i'm excited
> 
> anyways sorry if this chapter was bad or dry af y'all i tried but sometimes our last few brain cells fail on us and we cannot achieve the crackhead level we so desire


	3. bully jisung hours??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **roadkill:** i wasn’t looking to get UNFAIRLY attacked this morning but ok go off sis
> 
>  **roadkill:** “bully jisung hours” is specifically stated to be on changbin’s birthday cmon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my dumb ass realized that I might not have clarified information about everyone’s grade level. So here is a little guide:
> 
>  
> 
> Seniors: Chan and Woojin
> 
> Juniors: Minho and Changbin
> 
> Sophomores: Felix, Jisung, Hyunjin, and Seungmin
> 
> Freshman: Jeongin
> 
>  
> 
> This fic is set in South Korea, but let’s pretend the school system is similar to the one here in America. I need an outlet to rant about SATs, collegeboard, and all that fun stuff (eventually) aND MUAHAHAHA THIS IS PERFECT FOR THAT.

**[Group Chat: SRIRACHA] | 6:37 A.M.**

 

 **roadkill:** get the fuck out of bed bois i got some sad news to share:

 **roadkill:** i might not be at the lunch table today

 **roadkill:** gotta show around new meat

 

 **kosher salt:** sad news?? bitch i’m LIVIN, WHAT A GREAT MORNING

 **kosher salt:** finally i won’t have to feel like throwing up during lunch

 **kosher salt:** and what kind of teacher would trust u to do that

 **kosher salt:** kid’s gonna want to move back

 

 **roadkill:** wowgood morning to u too binnie,,,

 **roadkill:** but i know somewhere deep down in that emo heart of urs u go broki broki for me

 **roadkill:** so i’ll let what u just said slide

 

 **australian beef:** one day,,,

 **australian beef:** one daychangbin’s gonna admit it

 **australian beef:** but wasn’t seungmin supposed to show around a new student today? 

**australian beef:** don’t tell me he asked you to do it for him

 **australian beef:** my boi would never stoop that low

 **australian beef:** please

 

 **roadkill:** EXCUSE U

 **roadkill:** IS IT BULLY JISUNG HOUR RN I DON’T THINK SO

 **roadkill:** AND I AM A MAN OF MANY TALENTS

 **roadkill:** but hA seungmin DID ask me to do this

 **roadkill:** new boi’s a sophomore after all

 **roadkill:** and i am v e r y dependable

 

 **australian beef:** jisung

 **australian beef:** do i need to repeat the tide pod incident of September 7th, 2018

 **australian beef:** and the taco bell hit and run of August 16th, 2018

 **australian beef:** and the brownie fuck up of July 23rd, 2018

 **australian beef:** shame on you like fuck that shit still gets me heated 

**australian beef:** the list goes on and on

 

 **roadkill:** i wasn’t looking to get UNFAIRLY attacked this morning but ok go off sis

 **roadkill:** “bully jisung hours” is specifically stated to be on changbin’s birthday cmon

 **roadkill:** like,,,chan ur supposed to be my ally why u doin me dirty now

 **roadkill:** did u forget, daddy?? 

 

 **australian beef:** caLL ME DADDY ONE MORE TIME

 **australian beef:** AND I’LL BE CHANNELING MY INNER CHANGBIN

 

 **roadkill:** ok daddy uwu

 

 **australian beef:** hey changbin wanna become dos rachas

 

 **roadkill:** sorry, i've been a bad boi!

 

 **kosher salt:** can u stop being a fucking twink jisung thanks

 

 **roadkill:** y’all no fun

 

 **australian beef:** hi i’m back just went to go bleach my eyes

 **australian beef:** ANYWAYS bringing us back to what we were first talking about

 **australian beef:** whatever you do,,,please don’t scare the transfer student off

 **australian beef:** and you can always invite them to our table

 **australian beef:** or actually, show him to jeongin

 **australian beef:** changbin’s too much for anyone on their first day

 

 **roadkill:** good idea hyung

 **roadkill:** but i don’t even know where tf he sits

 

 **kosher salt:** do you two want a repeat of yesterday? 

**kosher salt:** :)

 

 **roadkill:** i forgot i have to finish my synthesis essay and get ready,,,later skaters

 

 **australian beef:** oops gtg grind that dragonball

 

 **kosher salt:** can’t u fuckers chill

 **kosher salt:** who’s the transfer student anyway

 **kosher salt:** where he from

 

 **roadkill:** akhfjgjkgashypocritehjkdbsajkbg

 **roadkill:** it’s a guy and his name’s lee felix

 **roadkill:** came from australia apparently

 **roadkill:** he’s like u chan

 **roadkill:** but probably better than u

 

 **australian beef:** completely ignoring what you said bECAUSE WOW

 **australian beef:** ANOTHER AUSTRALIAN FUCK YEAH

 **australian beef:** FUCK CHANGBIN INVITE HIM TO OUR TABLE ANYWAYS

 **australian beef:** i need another aussie boi in my life

 **australian beef:** @god ty for listening to me

 **australian beef:** cool new friend: GET

 

 **kosher salt:** oh fuck no i ain’t about to deal with that

 

**[Group Chat: CHOP CHOP im coOkING up mY hOt pOT] | 7:25 A.M.**

 

 **meanheaux:** poor hyunjin

 **meanheaux:** my bitch gonna have a hard time /sniffle

 

 **hyunjohn:**?????????

 **hyunjohn:** I AM: Confusion

 

 **mom:** aren’t we all

 **mom:** at this point we should be used to minho’s random ass weird remarks

 **mom:** but no,,,we aren’t

 **mom:** anyways gET OFF YOUR PHONE AND EAT BREAKFAST

 **mom:** IT ISN’T GOOD MANNERS TO BE ON YOUR PHONE WHILE EATING

 **mom:** or do you want me to take it by force :)

 

 **meanheaux:** excuse u who are u to tell me what to do

 **meanheaux:** i can eat while using my phone b it ain’t like i’m committing a crime

 **meanheaux:** and u doin the same smh hypocrite

 

 **mom:** (´･ᴗ･ ` )

 

 **hyunjohn:** ,,,

 **hyunjohn:** minho this is the 16th time

 **hyunjohn:** I DON’T THINK WOOJIN HYUNG ENJOYS DENTING HIS FRYING PANS AS MUCH AS YOU ENJOY LOSING BRAIN CELLS

 **hyunjohn:** whEn WilL yOU lEaRN tHAt yOUr acTIonS HaVE coNSeQueNCEs

 **hyunjohn:** oh and there it goes

 **hyunjohn:** the battle cries of w a r

 

**[Group Chat: these heaux + woojin] | 7:37 A.M.**

 

 **big bick energy:** y’all owe me lunch later

 **big bick energy:** said this shit wouldn’t happen again 

**big bick energy:** 4 days later,,,look at you two 

**big bick energy:** and woojin hyung pls don’t hurt minho too much

 **big bick energy:** i need him for rehearsal 

**big bick energy:** i’ll bribe u with cuddles uwu

 

 **softest bitch on the block:** we better be eating chicken after

 

 **big bick energy:** <3 <3 <3

 **big bick energy:** ur fucking welcome minho

 

**[Group Chat: CHOP CHOP im coOkING up mY hOt pOT] | 7:49 A.M.**

 

 **babybabybaby:** good morning hyungs!

 **babybabybaby:** i hope your day is off to a great start! ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

 

 **hyunjohn:** aw jeongin u lil cutie

 **hyunjohn:** it isn’t :)

 **hyunjohn:** come eat lunch with me later and it will be

 

 **babybabybaby:** that’d be really fun hyung!

 **babybabybaby:** do you eat in the cafeteria? 

**babybabybaby:** we can share food ( ´ ▽ ` )

 

 **hyunjohn:** what class do you have before lunch?

 

 **babybabybaby:** umm, today i have chemistry with mrs. cho before lunch

 **babybabybaby:** so room 206

 **babybabybaby:** why???

 

 **hyunjohn:** just don’t be in a rush

 **hyunjohn:** n e ways i gtg start walking before i get involved in this war zone

 **hyunjohn:** see you later jeongin <3

 

 **babybabybaby:**?

 **babybabybaby:** see you later hyung!

 

**[Group Chat: CHOP CHOP im coOkING up mY hOt pOT] | 8:18 A.M.**

 

 **crackhead nut:** yOOOOOO

 **crackhead nut:** PSA: lee felix got my dick hard

 

 **mom:** han jisung what the fuck-

 

 **meanheaux:** woahhh, woojin hyung cursed

 **meanheaux:** also whomst the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so Felix is actually coming in next chapter oops-
> 
> Also if you really couldn't tell who was who in that SRIRACHA gc:
> 
> roadkill: jisung  
> kosher salt: changbin  
> australian beef: chan
> 
> AND AJSHFKSGJ 100 KUDOS YALL TYSM im cri thank you for liking this dumb fic i hope stray kids crackheadery will make yall stay


	4. enter lee felix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix’s eyes widen in astonishment, mouth shaping into an ‘o’. “Woah, we’re practically twins. I was born a day after you, the 15th! Bros?”
> 
>  
> 
> Jisung sends him an unreadable expression, before ruffling his copper red hair. “Bros.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this update is late sksskhfj I really did mean to update earlier but uGH IM A JUNIOR IN HS AND YKNOW WHAT THAT MEANS ya girl gotta focus on college and my SATs are next week and im so stressed but excited for SKZ comeback but ugh :(( And I was highkey sad after the 2nd of March because I was tryna get the SKZ tickets to Newark and failed (like damn that shit was a war zone) but thankfully I managed to buy tickets for the 14th uwu hi-touch here we goooo

He anxiously fingers the hem of his sweater, taking momentary comfort in the pink fabric. His eyes focus onto his pink high tops, swaying back and forth as he waits for a specific individual to show up. 

 

Felix was supposed to have someone start showing him around at 7:40 A.M; it was currently 7:47 A.M. and there was no sign of another student in the faculty hallway. The only sounds filling the empty hallway was the tapping of his shoes and the muffled voices of several faculty members from behind the door to his left. 

 

“I’m gonna end up lost in this school, aren’t I?” The question quietly leaves his lips, followed by a long sigh.

 

Huffing, Felix begins to make his way towards the entrance of the school. He was still completely unfamiliar with his surroundings, but hey, better to walk around then just wait, right? His walk was rather peaceful for the most part, save for the curious stares he could feel from the few students that decided to come early. 

 

It would’ve stayed somewhat peaceful if someone didn’t completely barrel into him as he turned a corner. 

 

“Ow, the hell?” Rubbing his backside as he winces in pain, he looks up and stares into the rich, dark brown eyes of a panicked, yet handsome, face.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” His assailant grabs his hand, pulling him up, “I’m just in a rush, really sorry man! Gotta go!” Walking around him, the handsome boy begins to run in the direction Felix just came from. 

 

His doe eyes still widened from confusion, Felix suddenly bursts into giggles, “Is this a manga or something? … But damn, he had cool hair.” 

 

Silently lamenting there was no bread involved, Felix continues his walk. As tempting as it was to follow after the boy, he’d probably just get himself lost. 

 

Only to get his lungs knocked out. For the second time. By the same person. And it had only been a minute.

 

“Ugh… Man, do you hate me or something?” He murmurs, flashing a halfhearted glare at the boy.

 

Said individual chuckles sheepishly, pulling him up from the ground once again. This time, Felix stares at him intently, properly taking in the features of his boyish face. He can’t help but admire the stunning blue shade of the boy’s hair, falling gracefully over his gleaming eyes. His lips, pink and unchapped, twist into one of the most charming smiles Felix has ever seen, and a light, rosy shade rests on his cheeks (that strangely remind Felix of a squirrel). The boy meets his straying eyes, smirking at how quickly Felix backs away. 

 

Slightly shuffling his feet and feeling his cheeks heat as the stranger did his own observing, Felix places two fingers onto the pulse point of his neck—a nervous habit. Handsome boy plus Felix? Not the best pair for his sensitive heart.

 

“Nah, I don’t hate you! You’re too cute, so I got distracted,” The stranger exclaims, winking at Felix exaggeratedly. “Anyway, I’m Han Jisung, and you’re Lee Felix, right? I’m actually the student who’s supposed to show you around. Sorry for showing up late, I had… Trouble.”

 

Felix flails his hands in the air, cheeks getting even redder. Did the cute boy really just call him—Lee Felix, the weird, awkward new kid that honestly paled in comparison—cute? 

 

After just two minutes of knowing each other? 

 

He chuckles, eyes turning into slits as he flashes a hesitant, yet cheerful smile at Jisung. “Ah, thanks… And it’s no problem, I wasn’t waiting too long,” That was a lie, but he’d rather not make things awkward; it didn’t help that Jisung looked genuinely sorry, and Felix didn’t want to be the one to make such a bright person upset. “Well, lead the way.” 

 

Jisung perks up, his eyes somehow sparkling even more. God, Felix was really gonna die, huh? First Jisung was hot, now he was cute? 

 

“Sure, man!” Jisung exclaims, bouncing over and locking arms with him. 

 

Felix lets out a choked sound, heat returning to his cheeks impossibly fast. While he normally doesn’t mind skinship with others, he was already nervous from the start and this was a _very_ hot guy locking arms with him. Choosing to focus his attention on the walls, Felix hopes the other hadn’t noticed his internal panic.

 

After a beat, Jisung began humming and swinging their arms slightly as he showed Felix around. “This is the math hall, in other words, hell. Seriously, take one wrong step or breathe too hard and Ms. Choi, the Algebra 2 teacher will come for your ass,” He shivers, thinking back on the times said teacher had chased him through this very hallway after several attempts of playing pranks. “So… How old are you? Cuz’, like, age is pretty important here in Korea.” 

 

“I’m 15, but I’ll be turning 16 in a few days actually. Are you my, uh, hyung?” Felix avoids directly meeting Jisung’s eyes, instead absentmindedly playing with the other’s longer fingers. His hands are much bigger than Felix’s own, not like that was an exactly impressive feat.

 

“No way! We’re the same age, and I’ll be turning 16 in a few days too! Hey, hey, when’s your birthday?” Jisung swings their arms wildly, grinning massively. “Mine is on September 14th!”

 

Felix’s eyes widen in astonishment, mouth shaping into an ‘o’. “Woah, we’re practically twins. I was born a day after you, the 15th! Bros?”

 

Jisung sends him an unreadable expression, before ruffling his copper red hair. “Bros.”

 

 

 

“Again, I feel bad I couldn’t really show you around completely. I’ll walk you around to your classes to make up for it though!” Jisung winks, reaching over to give Felix a quick hug before running to his own class. It was 7:58 A.M., only two minutes until the start of first period, and the two had spent the last ten minutes talking instead of actually going around the school. 

 

Yeah, Jisung probably wasn’t the best choice for a guide. 

 

But Felix definitely appreciates him; after all, he had just made a best friend. 

 

“Alright, let’s get this bread.” Sucking in a deep breath, Felix opens his 10th Grade English Honors’ classroom door. 

 

He’s alarmed by the amount of people already present inside the classroom, freezing in place when their heads somehow simultaneously turn to stare at him. Some look at him curiously for a few seconds before turning their heads away in interest, others turn to whisper amongst themselves (he can already hear them talking trash), and an uncomfortable amount send questionable glances. 

 

God, high school _sucks_. But being the new student in a completely new high school in a completely new country? That calls for some Grade S bullshit.

 

Shaking his head, Felix surveys the room for an empty desk. Ironically, there’s one in the last row, seated right next to the window. “Now this really feels like I’m in some kind of drama or manga…”

 

None too gracefully, Felix falls into the seat and drops his bag onto the floor. He slumps onto the desk, groaning into the hard surface as the bell signals the start of first period. Already he doesn’t want to be here, but his mom would kill him and his new friend would be worried if Felix suddenly went home. 

 

Pouting, he hopes his first day goes well.

 

—

 

When Hyunjin hears the door open two minutes before the bell, the first thought that comes to mind is ‘Wow, someone actually went against Mr. Hyuk’s rules and didn’t show up to class at least five minutes early?’ Curious, he lifts his head up from his desk, vision a bit hazy from dozing off. Just as it clears, his breath hitches at the sight of an immensely pretty boy.

 

The boy has wavy copper red hair, ruffled adorably and looking so fluffy Hyunjin feels an urge to just pet it. He seems nervous, judging by the way he’s biting his smooth, pink lips, and wait- Hyunjin just wants to gather him up in a pile of blankets and hug him because oh god, the boy’s pouting? Honestly, how dare he? He’s dressed in a pink, wool sweater that hugs his body loosely, and Hyunjin can barely see his fingertips peeking through the sleeves. It’s tucked into black skinny jeans that accentuate his thighs in a flattering fashion, and covering his feet is a pair of pink high tops. The boy looks so soft and lost it strikes a chord in Hyunjin’s heart. 

 

He watches the boy walk to the back of the classroom, every step he takes making Hyunjin’s heart beat faster. The only empty seat available in the classroom is to his left, and he’s never felt more grateful for his good luck. He finally makes his way to the desk and sits down just as the bell rings, and Hyunjin’s hit with a whiff of his perfume—a light mix of sandalwood and vanilla. 

“Hey,” Hyunjin whispers, meeting the boy’s gleaming eyes as Mr. Hyuk enters the classroom with his droning voice. “I’m Hwang Hyunjin, what about you, beautiful?”

 

The boy flushes, hands coming up to cover his cheeks as he stares at Hyunjin wide-eyed. “... Lee Felix.” 

 

Hyunjin inhales sharply, mirroring Felix’s wide-eyed stare. Fuck. That voice was deep, an immense contrast to his soft face. 

 

And shit, were those freckles?

 

Hyunjin was royally fucked.

 

—

 

**[Group Chat: CHOP CHOP im coOkING up mY hOt pOT] | 8:18 A.M.**

 

 **crackhead nut:** yOOOOOO

 **crackhead nut:** PSA: lee felix got my dick hard

 

 **mom:** han jisung what the fuck-

 

 **meanheaux:** woahhh, woojin hyung cursed

 **meanheaux:** also whomst the fuck

 

 **crackhead nut:** lee felix is a whole cutie

 **crackhead nut:** a wholesome bitch

 **crackhead nut:** like i think i just met my favorite person in the entire universe??

 **crackhead nut:** he’s so cute he gave me a heart boner and an actual boner

 **crackhead nut:** and his voice??? he’s so soft but got a voice like that,,god WYD

 **crackhead nut:** like damn i rlly want to go down on him-

 

 **meanheaux:** hMmmM?? i got competition for cutest b??

 **meanheaux:** let me at this felix bitch

 

 **crackhead nut:** minho ily but u gon go weak for this boi aHH

 **crackhead nut:** u gon try to fight him at first then UWU real hard and give him all the kissies

 **crackhead nut:** BUT U STILL HOT

 **crackhead nut:** LIKE I MEAN SKSSKJ

 **crackhead nut:** @ SEUNGMIN TYSM FOR GIBIBNG ME THSDB OPPOSRITUNITY

 

 **meanheaux:** stFU karen

 

 **mom:** why don’t you guys be good students and talk about this during lunch

 **mom:** before i go there myself :)

 

 **meanheaux:** damn woojin rlly be the biggest hypocrite out here

 **meanheaux:** boi says we should pay attention when he on his phone during class too

 **meanheaux:** threatening to ditch class just to put us in place-

 **meanheaux:** ill be y’all role model from now on

 **meanheaux:** get out the way woojin,,,my time to shine

 

 **crackhead nut:** UR THE REASON WHY OUR GC IS SO DRY DURING SCHOOL HHHH

 **crackhead nut:** I AM FREE TO EXPRESS WHENEVER I WANT

 

**mom:**

**mom:** See you during lunch.

 

 **crackhead nut:** WHY IS EVERTONE IN THIS GC SO VIOLENT

 **crackhead nut:** NO IM SORRY MOM ILY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter wasn't too crappy man,,,bUT HEY LOOK YALL SAW THAT FELIX FINALLY CAME IN OUR SUNSHINE MEME BOI IS FINALLY HERE and yes hes soft uwu
> 
> also my friend told me to put out my twitter to gain more moots so here it is https://twitter.com/waipufelix  
> idk i lowkey wanna start thread fics-  
> ALSO I SPENT LIKE FIVE MIN TRYING TO INSERT THE LINK
> 
> ALSO YES YOU SAW THE NEW RELATIONSHIP TAGS HHHHH i am falling iN LOVE W CHANLIX so they are now a main :))  
> lowkey the romance is gonna come kinda slow and steady??? idk depends on the couple yall will see huhu


End file.
